Ending and Beginning

Alpha Course has now finished. We had the last session on 27th May, but it wasn't a sad experience. We had an absolutely fantastic meal, and we laughed so, so much, especially when I asked if we could take a group photo, which involved lots of huddling together and diving about to beat the timer on my camera.

We also focused on what happens next, and watched the DVD of Nicky Gumbel talking about how to carry on our lives as Christians.

Three of our group (including myself) are very interested in being baptised, and so for us, the next thing will be a Discipleship Course which will end with the three of us being baptised. The Reverend is hoping that we might be able to be baptised together on the day of the Church anniversary, 11th July.

I am very much looking forward to the course and to being baptised at last, and becoming an official member of the Church I love, but I'm not sure how I feel about it being on 11th July. I know it's a fantastic day to be baptised on, the Church anniversary, but ... it's also my daughter's 8th birthday the same day.

So for this reason, there are a few reasons why I'm thinking I might rather be baptised another day ...

Firstly, I don't want to take the focus away from my daughter on her big day. She only gets one birthday a year, and this past year has had plenty of rough moments for her, so it's even more important to make her special day all about her.

Secondly, I want to be able to focus solely on my baptism on the day I get baptised. I don't want to be rushing about wrapping presents, taking photos, stressing about birthday party plans, and devoting my day to making Seren's day special. Don't get me wrong, I want to do all those things on Seren's birthday, for sure, because I LOVE celebrating the kids' birthdays and making them as special as I possibly can ... but not on the day I get baptised.

I want to be able to focus on my relationship with Jesus on that day, and I just don't think I'll be able to do that properly on Seren's birthday. I want my baptism to be the most important part of that day, because being baptised, being washed clean of my sins, and being baptised in water and in the Holy Spirit is life-changing. I don't want it to be squeezed into a day that's already madly busy, when I wouldn't be able to focus on Jesus properly.

And thirdly, the couple who host the Alpha Course want to throw the three of us a baptism barbecue/party at their house, which I presume would take place on the day we get baptised. If I get baptised on Seren's birthday, then I very much doubt we'd be able to attend, as the day is going to be pretty full already, and I don't want to miss that chance to share that time with my Christian friends.

We are having an Alpha Course reunion at a couple of the course members' house on Thursday, when we will finish talking about what will happen next, the next steps on our Christian journeys, and so we can talk more about it then.

And this is shaping up to be a very Jesus-focused weekend! I have the Alpha Course reunion on Thursday, and then, I just found out last night that I can attend a Christian event in Essex on Saturday! And then of course, I have Church on Sunday morning!

And, in keeping with the title of this post, something else in my life has ended recently too. The folk band I was singing and playing with. I won't go into details, but although it's sad that it's ended, and there are a lot of emotions to work through, it's turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because it's something that hadn't felt right for a while, and it had been weighing heavy on my mind.

And now it's done, I can focus on what's important. My journey with God, my precious family, fundraising and awareness-raising for the Cystic Fibrosis Trust, and helping out with the local branch of the National Autistic Society.

I wanted to close this with a couple of bible verses which have really helped me lately. They have given me encouragement when I've been feeling low, and courage when I felt I had none.

"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but be an example for the believers in your speech, your conduct, your love, faith and purity." 1 Timothy 4 v 12.

"Don't be afraid or discouraged, for I, the Lord your God, am with you wherever you go." Joshua 1 v 9.