It's been an eventful couple of months!
Alpha has been going really well! We had five people for our first session, plus myself and the leaders, and we had a really social evening, sharing a meal together and getting to know each other. We had one person drop out a little way through, so now we have three or four at each session, depending on circumstances, and things are working out really well. I think it being a little group is working well for the individuals who are in it, and we're all gelling together really well.
We've completed five weeks of the course so far, and we also took a break for a week to have a 'Film Night', where we watched an incredibly uplifting, inspiring and educational documentary on the life of George Mueller, called the Robber of the Cruel Streets. If you haven't seen it, I would definitely recommend it as an example of how to truly live your life by faith alone.
We are also planning for our upcoming Holy Spirit Day. We have yet to decide whether to try and fit it in before Christmas, or wait until January, and whether to split it over two days, to be more convenient for those of us with children at school, whether to fit it all into one day, or whether to go away for a Holy Spirit weekend.
In addition to helping out at Alpha, I have also been attending House Group every other week, and we had a fantastic Fun, Food and Fireworks Night on Bonfire Night, held at one of the leaders' houses! We all brought friends with us from the local community, and absolutely everyone had a fantastic time, and it was really great to see new connections being made!
And, I've had my interview for church membership! Because the church I attend has closed membership, it means that I had to apply separately for church membership after being baptised. So a few weeks ago, two members of my House Group popped round one morning for a chat and did my interview, and they're hoping that I will be welcomed into church membership very soon! We're hoping that the two people I was baptised with will be welcomed in on the same day, which would be lovely!
And ... I have been asked to sing with the worship group!!!
On 31st October, after the morning service, one of the church leaders spoke to me and said that they'd heard that I can sing! I laughed, and said that I certainly enjoy singing, and used to sing with a folk band, and have been told that I can sing, but whether I'm any good or not is up to the listener, I guess!
I was very pleasantly surprised when he asked me to consider singing with the worship group on a Sunday, and/or to consider playing a piece on my clarinet during the Christmas celebrations! I said I'd go away and think about it, and pray about it, and so I did.
That very night, my reading in my Cover to Cover book was about the temple Solomon built, and about ... the Temple Musicians! Oh so very appropriate! I love how even though the book was printed several years ago, it is still relevant specifically to my daily life, as if it was written just for me! No matter what is happening at the time, there is almost always a message or a teaching of some kind in my daily readings.
I thought about it some more, and prayed about it some more, and two weeks later, I was thinking that I had better get back to the church leader about his offer, and so before reading my Bible that night, I prayed again about my decision. The reading was from 1 Kings 8, and 2 Chronicles 5, about the dedication of the temple, and at first, I wasn't particularly struck by what I read as an answer to my prayer, until I got to the section 'for thought and contemplation'.
It said: "God required not only that the temple be built for Him but also dedicated to Him. Dedication goes further than hoping God will accept what we offer - it gathers up those hopes in a distinct and definite commitment. Don't just hope God will use you - dedicate your talents to him - now." Taken from Cover to Cover, by Selwyn Hughes & Trevor J Partridge.
Wow!
That was me told, eh?!
So on Sunday morning, I found one of the members of the worship group, and accepted their offer! :o) And then I had yet another shock, as she invited me to sing with them this coming Sunday!!!
Despite the butterflies in my tummy, I said yes, and so this Sunday, God willing, I will be up there at the front of the church, behind a microphone with two other singers and the band, singing:
How Great Thou Art
Hosanna
Who Is There Like You?
Everlasting God (Strength Will Rise)
Knowing You (All I Once Held Dear)
I'm praying that God will fill me with His Spirit, and help me to give Him glory and praise as I worship Him with song!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Changing, Growing, Learning
My apologies for the break in blogging, but to be honest, not too much happened over the summer, although a lot has happened over the past few weeks of September. Just to update you a little ...
1) I am continuing to attend church every Sunday with Seren, and we love worshipping and learning there.
2) Both Seren and Dylan loved going to Holiday Bible Club, aka Rocky's Plaice in August.
3) Seren and Dylan have discovered the joys of Veggie Tales and now Dylan especially loves to watch his 3 Veggie Tales DVDs!
4) I'm still waiting to hear more about becoming a church member, which is something I am really looking forward to.
5) I'm still working through my 'Cover to Cover' book, reading the Bible in 365 days. Last night I read Day 100, so I'm in the middle of 1 Samuel, reading about David and Goliath.
6) I've joined a local house group, which I went to for the first time on the 14th of this month, as the house groups closed for August, and so that was the first time I was able to go. It's not the same as the one I tried before, way back at the beginning of this blog, as all the house groups have been re-organised and re-shuffled, and so I have just joined a new group, and I absolutely love it. We're the only local house group which has a time of worship with worship songs, as well as prayer time and Bible study time, and we have some really fun things planned for the coming months, like a fireworks party in November, and carol singing in December. It's also a real mix of ages, which is fantastic.
7) And I have also been learning and growing as a Christian, learning to truly depend on God, and to take everything to Jesus when I'm scared or worried, and I've been working on learning from the Bible verse I was given at my baptism, about no longer being a slave to fear.
Let me explain a little.
I went to the GP recently to get some of my many moles checked, and he thought one might be cancerous. I then had an anxious nine day wait to see the dermatologist at the hospital, and in that time, I learned so very much about myself and my faith. While waiting for my appointment, I was so very scared, and I was letting myself be a slave to my almost overwhelming fear, but when I went to my first house group meeting, everything changed.
The whole evening was about Psalm 100, about praising God, and when some of the people started discussing how to praise God when things aren't going well, the message was so very personal. And I am so very pleased that despite being scared, and having no idea what the outcome of the dermatology appointment would be, I was still able to go to church on the Sunday before and praise God with all my heart. And I did the same at the house group two days later, even though I did get a little overwhelmed by my emotions, which led to me getting a bit tearful.
But everyone was so caring, and during prayer time, every member of the group stood round me, laid hands on me, and prayed for me, and during the worship time, one of the members received a word ...
Peace.
I've had that word before. Back when Seren was really unwell, and I received my own words while at church one Sunday evening when I was desperately praying for healing for her. Not yet. Peace.
And I tell you, I left that house group meeting feeling so very blessed. I felt at peace, and that peace lasted all that evening, all the next day, and right up until I walked into the dermatology department at the hospital. And even then, I was fairly calm. I was concerned that I might not be able to cope, because I was almost physically sick with fear at the doctors surgery when I went to get my moles checked, and that night I had awful stomach cramps, and a splitting headache the following day, so I really wasn't handling my fear well at all.
But at the hospital, I just needed to take a few deep breaths, and I was fine. And even on the way to the hospital, I was analysing how I was feeling, and do you know how I felt? Right then, when I was on the way to the hospital to find out if whether my mole might be cancerous?
Blessed.
The night before my appointment, I stood in the shower, singing worship songs and thanking God for my life. For my family, for everyone who loves me, for the friends and family who were lifting me up in prayer, and for Jesus dying to save me on the cross.
And I felt the same on the way to the hospital. No matter what the outcome of the appointment might be, at that moment I felt blessed, because I could literally feel the support and love and prayers of those who love me.
And I never would have expected to feel that way.
God is GOOD!!!
And when I got to the hospital? It was good news! The dermatologist isn't concerned about any of my moles right now! They did photograph the one the GP was concerned about, and they have made me another appointment for 6 months time to re-check that mole for any changes, but for now, they're not concerned! WOOO HOOO!!!
Thank you Lord!!!
How much did I love spreading good news that afternoon?!?!? And the joy with which everyone received the news just confirmed how blessed I truly am.
Afterwards, Adrian said that if I'd had an earlier appointment, I would have saved all that worry and wondering and waiting, but I am glad that things worked out that way. God's timing is perfect, and I learned so very much about myself and my faith in those nine days. I learned that I can praise God through the bad times without losing my faith, I learned that I don't have to be a slave to fear, that I can give it all to Jesus and allow Him to help me, and I learned how blessed I am to have people who love me and want me to be well, and are willing to pray for me.
As I said. I learned a lot.
And even now, when the drama of the mole scare is in the past, I am still struggling a lot with anxiety. I have spoken to the childrens' CF psychologist about it, and she said it's very natural to have that anxiety at this point, having been through so much in the last few years, losing my grandfather to cancer, my Dad having his cancer battle for 2 1/2 years (Oh, how could I forget! He is now IN REMISSION!!!!!!!! He got his good news exactly a week before I went to the GP about my mole. I thank God every day for curing my Dad's cancer!), the kids and their health problems, our high stress life. Apparently anxiety is normal in my situation.
So every time I remember the word the woman received at house group a week and a half ago, I think of the word Peace, and it calms me. It reminds me that God gives me peace. That I don't have to be a slave to fear any longer. That word is so very powerful for me. Peace. I can't describe it, but that word speaks to my soul.
8) And lastly, around the same time as my mole scare was getting started, I was invited to help out on the upcoming Alpha Course. As you have probably read, I did the Alpha Course myself last time, and absolutely LOVED it, and after spending all those weeks with my course buddies, then moving straight onto Discipleship course with them, then our baptisms, there was a large hole in my life when everything stopped over the summer.
So when the hosts asked me if I'd like to go back and be a helper on the upcoming course, I jumped at the chance! The chance to spend more time with the hosts and grow in my faith through their leadership; the chance to experience Alpha all over again; and the chance to (hopefully!) help others to find Jesus and hear the Good News ... well, what a privilege! And also, on a more practical level, the hosts have done so very very much for me over the course of Alpha and the Discipleship course, and so now I absolutely love having the chance to 'give back', to help them with planning the course, with greeting the guests, with clearing up afterwards and with supporting them in all their hard work.
I was honoured to be asked, because I felt there was another woman from my Alpha who would have been absolutely fantastic as the helper on this upcoming course, very eloquent and inspiring, (I am much less confident in speaking than in writing!) but this is obviously how God has planned it!
So last week, I went round to the hosts' house for a meal and the first of my training sessions, which was fascinating, and I was also able to share the good news about my hospital appointment that day. Then on Monday and Tuesday this week, I had two more training sessions, watching the training DVD as well as discussing things, praying, and also talking about the more practical aspects such as cooking etc.
Which brings us to tonight, the first night of the course!!! I am so very excited, because two of my friends are going to be on the course, and I have been praying for them, that they will be blessed by attending the course, but I'm also very nervous, I so very much want to be a great helper, supporting everyone in the right way, and I want to be led by The Spirit and for God to work through me in helping people to come to know Him.
So I've been praying about it a lot, and I'll just have to wait and see how things go!
God bless.
1) I am continuing to attend church every Sunday with Seren, and we love worshipping and learning there.
2) Both Seren and Dylan loved going to Holiday Bible Club, aka Rocky's Plaice in August.
3) Seren and Dylan have discovered the joys of Veggie Tales and now Dylan especially loves to watch his 3 Veggie Tales DVDs!
4) I'm still waiting to hear more about becoming a church member, which is something I am really looking forward to.
5) I'm still working through my 'Cover to Cover' book, reading the Bible in 365 days. Last night I read Day 100, so I'm in the middle of 1 Samuel, reading about David and Goliath.
6) I've joined a local house group, which I went to for the first time on the 14th of this month, as the house groups closed for August, and so that was the first time I was able to go. It's not the same as the one I tried before, way back at the beginning of this blog, as all the house groups have been re-organised and re-shuffled, and so I have just joined a new group, and I absolutely love it. We're the only local house group which has a time of worship with worship songs, as well as prayer time and Bible study time, and we have some really fun things planned for the coming months, like a fireworks party in November, and carol singing in December. It's also a real mix of ages, which is fantastic.
7) And I have also been learning and growing as a Christian, learning to truly depend on God, and to take everything to Jesus when I'm scared or worried, and I've been working on learning from the Bible verse I was given at my baptism, about no longer being a slave to fear.
Let me explain a little.
I went to the GP recently to get some of my many moles checked, and he thought one might be cancerous. I then had an anxious nine day wait to see the dermatologist at the hospital, and in that time, I learned so very much about myself and my faith. While waiting for my appointment, I was so very scared, and I was letting myself be a slave to my almost overwhelming fear, but when I went to my first house group meeting, everything changed.
The whole evening was about Psalm 100, about praising God, and when some of the people started discussing how to praise God when things aren't going well, the message was so very personal. And I am so very pleased that despite being scared, and having no idea what the outcome of the dermatology appointment would be, I was still able to go to church on the Sunday before and praise God with all my heart. And I did the same at the house group two days later, even though I did get a little overwhelmed by my emotions, which led to me getting a bit tearful.
But everyone was so caring, and during prayer time, every member of the group stood round me, laid hands on me, and prayed for me, and during the worship time, one of the members received a word ...
Peace.
I've had that word before. Back when Seren was really unwell, and I received my own words while at church one Sunday evening when I was desperately praying for healing for her. Not yet. Peace.
And I tell you, I left that house group meeting feeling so very blessed. I felt at peace, and that peace lasted all that evening, all the next day, and right up until I walked into the dermatology department at the hospital. And even then, I was fairly calm. I was concerned that I might not be able to cope, because I was almost physically sick with fear at the doctors surgery when I went to get my moles checked, and that night I had awful stomach cramps, and a splitting headache the following day, so I really wasn't handling my fear well at all.
But at the hospital, I just needed to take a few deep breaths, and I was fine. And even on the way to the hospital, I was analysing how I was feeling, and do you know how I felt? Right then, when I was on the way to the hospital to find out if whether my mole might be cancerous?
Blessed.
The night before my appointment, I stood in the shower, singing worship songs and thanking God for my life. For my family, for everyone who loves me, for the friends and family who were lifting me up in prayer, and for Jesus dying to save me on the cross.
And I felt the same on the way to the hospital. No matter what the outcome of the appointment might be, at that moment I felt blessed, because I could literally feel the support and love and prayers of those who love me.
And I never would have expected to feel that way.
God is GOOD!!!
And when I got to the hospital? It was good news! The dermatologist isn't concerned about any of my moles right now! They did photograph the one the GP was concerned about, and they have made me another appointment for 6 months time to re-check that mole for any changes, but for now, they're not concerned! WOOO HOOO!!!
Thank you Lord!!!
How much did I love spreading good news that afternoon?!?!? And the joy with which everyone received the news just confirmed how blessed I truly am.
Afterwards, Adrian said that if I'd had an earlier appointment, I would have saved all that worry and wondering and waiting, but I am glad that things worked out that way. God's timing is perfect, and I learned so very much about myself and my faith in those nine days. I learned that I can praise God through the bad times without losing my faith, I learned that I don't have to be a slave to fear, that I can give it all to Jesus and allow Him to help me, and I learned how blessed I am to have people who love me and want me to be well, and are willing to pray for me.
As I said. I learned a lot.
And even now, when the drama of the mole scare is in the past, I am still struggling a lot with anxiety. I have spoken to the childrens' CF psychologist about it, and she said it's very natural to have that anxiety at this point, having been through so much in the last few years, losing my grandfather to cancer, my Dad having his cancer battle for 2 1/2 years (Oh, how could I forget! He is now IN REMISSION!!!!!!!! He got his good news exactly a week before I went to the GP about my mole. I thank God every day for curing my Dad's cancer!), the kids and their health problems, our high stress life. Apparently anxiety is normal in my situation.
So every time I remember the word the woman received at house group a week and a half ago, I think of the word Peace, and it calms me. It reminds me that God gives me peace. That I don't have to be a slave to fear any longer. That word is so very powerful for me. Peace. I can't describe it, but that word speaks to my soul.
8) And lastly, around the same time as my mole scare was getting started, I was invited to help out on the upcoming Alpha Course. As you have probably read, I did the Alpha Course myself last time, and absolutely LOVED it, and after spending all those weeks with my course buddies, then moving straight onto Discipleship course with them, then our baptisms, there was a large hole in my life when everything stopped over the summer.
So when the hosts asked me if I'd like to go back and be a helper on the upcoming course, I jumped at the chance! The chance to spend more time with the hosts and grow in my faith through their leadership; the chance to experience Alpha all over again; and the chance to (hopefully!) help others to find Jesus and hear the Good News ... well, what a privilege! And also, on a more practical level, the hosts have done so very very much for me over the course of Alpha and the Discipleship course, and so now I absolutely love having the chance to 'give back', to help them with planning the course, with greeting the guests, with clearing up afterwards and with supporting them in all their hard work.
I was honoured to be asked, because I felt there was another woman from my Alpha who would have been absolutely fantastic as the helper on this upcoming course, very eloquent and inspiring, (I am much less confident in speaking than in writing!) but this is obviously how God has planned it!
So last week, I went round to the hosts' house for a meal and the first of my training sessions, which was fascinating, and I was also able to share the good news about my hospital appointment that day. Then on Monday and Tuesday this week, I had two more training sessions, watching the training DVD as well as discussing things, praying, and also talking about the more practical aspects such as cooking etc.
Which brings us to tonight, the first night of the course!!! I am so very excited, because two of my friends are going to be on the course, and I have been praying for them, that they will be blessed by attending the course, but I'm also very nervous, I so very much want to be a great helper, supporting everyone in the right way, and I want to be led by The Spirit and for God to work through me in helping people to come to know Him.
So I've been praying about it a lot, and I'll just have to wait and see how things go!
God bless.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Day of My Baptism
What a day!!! :o)
We kicked off the day with a fantastic morning worship service, preached by one of our church's missionaries from Albania, who spoke to us about seeing the world through God's eyes, seeing the big picture, not just our little slice of the world.
The baptism pool was all set up ready, and so myself and my two friends from the Alpha Course were able to take a good look at the pool and test the temperature, and finalise the arrangements for the evening. We were all feeling a bit nervous about random bits like delivering our testimonies, being up on stage in front of the congregation and guests, and for me, I was terrified of falling down the steps into the pool, because through the water, they looked like awfully narrow steps, and I have big feet! But we were also very, very excited!
When we got home, I finalised my testimony, and got the last things ready for my friend W and her children arriving to stay with us, and then they were here!
We had a lovely afternoon together, with a party tea for the 'birthday people' (Seren on the 11th, W's son B on the 19th, and Adrian on the 20th), and then it was time to get ready for the baptism service!
It was recommended that I wear a swimming costume under my clothes, in case they floated up or anything, and so I did. I was also told not to wear white, because it goes see-through once it's wet, so I wore black trousers and a green top. And because I was going forward to be immersed, I had to tie my hair up, because otherwise I'd come up out of the water looking like Cousin Itt from the Addams Family!
W and I prayed together, once we had got everyone ready, and W also made sure that I had everything I needed, including my notes for my testimony, and then it was time to go!
I was so very excited by the time we got to the church, I just could not wait to be baptised, to be saved by God's Grace, to die to my old life and my old sins, and be reborn and washed clean!
When we first got there, we got settled in, with Adrian and the kids, and W and her children taking up an entire front row on one side, and people came up to give me cards, and I had a chat to the ministers and the two lovely people, C and C, (whose names I don't want to share without permission, but because they have the same initials, we'll call them Cr and Ca) who were being baptised with me.
Seren and Dylan taking a look at the baptism pool
At about 5.45 pm, the ministers took us through to the lounge to pray together with some of the church members, which really calmed us down and focused our minds on the Lord.
While I was away, Adrian continued to snap photos, and he took the rest of the photos during the evening too.
Adrian and Dylan, waiting for the service to begin
And then, at 6 pm, it was time!!!
The minister welcomed everyone to the service, and then we sang three worship songs together. We all chose a song each, a song which meant a lot to us, and was particularly appropriate for our baptisms, and the first was chosen by me, 'Father God I Wonder' ...
Then 'Lord I Lift Your Name On High', chosen by Cr ...
And 'There Is A Day', chosen by Ca ...
Before the service, Ca and I were saying to each other that we were nervous about trying to get through the worship and testimonies without dissolving into tears, because we both knew it was going to be an incredibly emotional time. And she teased me, saying that because I'd cried so frequently in the Alpha and Discipleship Course meetings, that I'd be first to cry, well, after Cr's wife anyway! And that Ca would cry after me.
As it turned out, she was wrong! We all felt the tears start to flow in 'There Is A Day', just as I thought they would, because that song gets me Every. Single. Time. Every single time. I can't sing it without the tears springing to my eyes, because it's message is just so precious, when it speaks about all hurt and pain ceasing, or about how the dead will be raised, never to perish again, or about how trouble is hard, but is only momentary and is achieving our future glory. It just speaks to me. To my heart. It gives me peace and hope.
I sang the first two songs at the very top of my voice, rejoicing in the packed church, filled with church members, family and friends; and in the reason for us being there; and in God's saving Grace. And when we sang 'There Is A Day', the wave of emotion crashed over us.
I say us, because when I looked across, as the tears were springing to my eyes, Ca was already wiping away tears, and Cr had decidedly red eyes too! So actually, Ca cried before all of us :o)
Not that it mattered. At first, I tried to wipe away my tears, but they just kept flowing, and so I decided to let them flow, to concentrate on singing and worshipping God, and not to hold back anything, or try to contain my feelings. It so wasn't a night for holding back, it was for shouting to the world about our love for Jesus!
I'm so grateful that the sermon came next, because if our testimonies had been straight after the worship songs, I don't think any of us would have been able to speak. The minister, B, found it difficult enough at first, delivering his first few words in a husky voice.
And it was just the perfect sermon. Speaking to us, and to those in the congregation who were lost sheep, just as we had been. Those who had lost their way, and knew something was missing, but didn't know where to turn, or how to find their way back. As I listened to it, I just knew God was working through B, and that his words were touching hearts all around the room. I could just feel the power in his words.
And then it was time. Time for our testimonies ...
We got up from our front row seats, and walked up onto the stage, and took our seats together. We were introduced, and then it was down to us ... It was time for God to work through us.
Cr gave his testimony first, and although I'd heard bits of it before, during the Discipleship Course, it was so much more powerful on the night. He never stumbled, never lost his place, he was calm, and his words were strong. He showed the way in which the Lord has been working slowly in his life, over the past ten years, bringing him this point, where he was ready to declare his love for God. And although he was clearly emotional, he was the only one of us who got through their testimony without any tears.
He sat down to applause, and then it was Ca's turn. Her testimony was amazing; witty and interesting, and heartbreakingly honest. There were points where she was unable to speak, so intense were her emotions, and from my seat behind her, I prayed for strength for her, that she would be able to continue and to give her testimony from the heart. Her children came up onto the stage with her, and comforted her, which was beautiful, and she found the strength and determination to carry on speaking, and her testimony was amazing. God's work in her life was amazing.
She sat back down to thunderous applause, and I realised that it was now my turn. I now had to stand up before the microphone, already tearful from Ca's testimony, and try to give my own, which in my head, now sounded dull and drab and uninspiring.
I'd written notes, firstly as prompts to make sure I didn't miss out any important points from the early part of my journey, and the secondly to make sure I phrased things exactly how I wanted to when I got to the later part of my journey, bringing me up to last night. So as I stood up, I unfolded my notes, said a last quick prayer (the last of many on the subject!) that God would use my testimony to bring others to Christ, and to touch the hearts which needed to be touched, and then, again, it was time!
The first thing I did when I got up there, was to make a joke. It was unintentional, and carried on from the initial joke Ca had made that she hoped everyone could hear her, because she was taller than Cr. My joke was that I was even taller, by far, and so I hoped that everyone could hear me too ...
Giving my testimony, barefoot
And then I looked around at the sea of faces staring at me from the packed pews, and I jumped in, feet first. Not into the baptism pool, of course, although we did joke that if I slipped when I was getting into the pool, I'd end up a) baptising myself, and b) causing a mini tidal wave as I fell; but jumped feet first into my testimony.
I started off by giving my name, and saying that I was originally from South Wales, and that's where I pretty much scrapped my speech. From then on, God took over, and totally re-worded a lot of it. I don't remember 100% of my speech (although I will be able to see it on video soon, and hope to share it on here too), but I remember saying that my life started off pretty well, that I was dedicated into the baptist church, and that I very much loved attending Sunday School and was active in church and proud of it.
Then I moved on to the tough times, talking about moving to Suffolk and getting married, falling pregnant with Seren, and then said about her being diagnosed with cystic fibrosis.
And, although I had expected to become emotional and/or tearful during my testimony, I totally didn't expect it to be then. The very first time I said the words cystic fibrosis. But I did. My throat locked, the tears flooded my eyes, and I couldn't go on. I remember looking up to the ceiling, and praying for strength, for enough peace to carry on, to deliver my testimony.
And I did. With a lot of tears (and unfortunately, a lot of sniffing, which didn't sound too great echoing around the church with surround sound!), a lot of emotion, and a lot of strength from the Lord, I did it.
I spoke about the tough times we've weathered, how Adrian got me through my severe post natal depression, how unbelievably angry I was, how I let that come between me and the Lord, and how, when Seren guided us to our new church, I had to let God break down all those barriers, I had to let God help me smash down that wall of anger. And I spoke about the love I've felt from our church, the welcome they gave me, the welcome God gave me, and the way they have nurtured my newly re-awoken faith so that it didn't just blossom under their care, it absolutely exploded.
And then I totally forgot my script and just let my love for the Lord overflow. I can't remember exactly what I said, but I know it was to do with how thankful I was to be there last night, to be able to show just how much I love my God.
I can't tell you more than that, because as I said, I can't remember all that I said. I have no idea how long my testimony was, or whether I spoke anywhere near eloquently (although it would seem that it was at least intelligible!), and I know that I didn't say all that I planned to say. But what I said was exactly what God wanted me to say. And that's how I wanted it. I didn't want to just read off a piece of paper. I wanted God right in the thick of things, helping me. And He was. It was my testimony, but with a lot of help from the Lord.
Maybe I looked silly, and maybe when I see the video of my testimony I'll cringe or blush. I don't know. All I know is that my testimony was 100% real at the time, 100% heartfelt, and remembering now just how I felt, standing up there and feeling God at work, feeling God's presence so strongly ... IT WAS PERFECT. It was how it was meant to be.
I wish the 'Me of mid 2009' could see the 'Me of mid 2010', that they could meet. How very, very different they would be. Rock bottom to the top of the world in such a short time. And not because life's perfect now, because it's not. But because Jesus is back in my life, and He makes my life worth living, worth being totally alive, worth feeling with all of my heart, worth not holding back in fear of being hurt. Worth trusting, trusting in God.
And then, after I'd sat back down to my own applause, and Ca had lent me her tissue to mop up my many tears, it was time for the most important part. Our baptisms!
Cr went first, followed by Ca, and then me ...
I was helped into the pool by the lady who helps the ladies who are being baptised, and by B, and I didn't fall in, YAY! The steps were actually a lot wider than they looked through the rippling water!
The water was beautifully warm, and with every step I took down into the pool, I could feel how incredibly buoyant the water was as it rushed up the legs of my trousers. I had to push hard to get my feet down onto the steps, and when I reached the bottom of the pool and stood between B and D, the ministers, I had to work hard to keep my balance and keep my feet on the bottom of the pool!
First of all, I was given my own personal Bible verse, chosen for me by the church ...
"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption. Whereby we say, "Abba Father"." Romans 8, verse 15.
Isn't it the perfect verse? I was indeed a slave to fear before I opened my heart to the Lord again in December 2009. Fear had completely dominated my life since the moment we found out, at 22 weeks pregnant, that Seren was at risk of having cystic fibrosis. But as my verse says, I'm no longer a slave to fear. And I love that it says that I received the Spirit of adoption, because the very words of the song I chose for the service, 'Father God I Wonder', says 'But now I am your child, I am adopted in your family,'. I'm now officially a member of God's Church in the World!
After receiving my verse, I stood between the ministers and confessed my faith in Jesus ...
And then, as they said that on my confession of faith, and with my consent, they baptised me in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, on the word 'Spirit', I went under. I was being baptised going forwards, so I was prepared, with my hands crossed before me, and my right hand holding my nose, and under I went.
The water hit my face and it was beautifully warm, and as I went under, I felt my feet sliding backwards as my body tried to float, and I had to work to keep my feet under me, and after some moments, I then felt B and D grip my arms and pull me back up.
They gave me a moment to right myself and clear the water from my face, and then they held me again, placing their hands on my head and baptising me with the Holy Spirit. I opened my heart to the Holy Spirit, and I felt such incredible peace wash over me.
Receiving the Holy Spirit
And then I heard B and D blessing me, and B helped me out of the pool, into the waiting arms of my friend W, who was holding my towel for me, and I was just BURSTING with joy!!! I can't describe the joy that absolutely overwhelmed me!
See my Welsh flag towel? I wore it for my parents, because they weren't able to be there, and the lovely W made sure it was the right way up as she gave it to me!
Seren and Dylan came up to hug me as well, which was a precious moment, and then B, D, Cr, Ca and myself went out to the changing rooms to get dried and dressed. It was lovely to be able to talk to Ca as we changed in the cubicles, to have someone to re-live the experience with, and Ca told me that my testimony really touched her, especially at the end when I told the church how much I love my God. I told her that that bit was totally unplanned, unscripted, off the cuff and from the heart, and she said that it was the best bit! :o)
We got changed as quickly as we could, and then we all went back into the church together as the congregation finished singing a few more worship songs, and we took our places back on the stage. D then invited members of the congregation up to pray for us, and my two lovely local friends who had come to the service came up onto the stage to pray with us, and we all just prayed together in the Spirit. It was amazing to hear the voices mingling around us as they prayed for us and for our spiritual journeys.
We then returned to our seats in the front rows of the congregation and we sang another song together ...
Shine Jesus Shine, by Graham Kendrick
To be honest, I don't even remember singing this song, I just remember standing there and worshipping God. And I remember sitting down again to listen to the minister speaking, again giving his message of welcome to those who may be lost, and inviting people to join him on the next Alpha Course. At this point, I had Dylan snuggled up to me, and W's youngest son sitting on my lap, snuggled up to me, and life was perfect. We stood up again for the benediction, and then that was it! The service was over!
As soon as the service was finished, I was surrounded by people coming up to me and hugging me and congratulating me and telling me how much they had loved my testimony, and saying how my words had touched them. :o) I have no idea how many pairs of arms hugged me, but it was a lot. My friends, my family, the congregation, the ministers, and the family and friends of my fellow 'new faithfuls'. :o)
We stayed in the church for quite a while, hugging and talking and hearing people's stories of their own baptisms and journeys; and, incredibly excitingly, Ja, one of the people I did the Alpha Course with, came over to me and said that she had felt led to invite me to join her House Group! And of course, I immediately said yes!!!
I know a few people in her House Group already, B, who baptised me, his wife Ji, and Ja, who invited me. I've already been to her house for a barbecue, and I'd heard how fantastic their House Group is, and longed to join it, so to be invited was wonderful!
Then I quickly dashed to grab my wet things so that Adrian could put them in the car, rounded up the incredibly over-excited (and in Dylan's case, over-stimulated and sensory-overloaded) children, and made our way through to the hall for tea and cakes.
And the ladies of the church gave me this beautiful bouquet of flowers ...
The party time in the hall passed in a blur, as I was ever so hot, and ever so thirsty, and I talked to so very many people, and I was trying to juggle my bouquet of flowers, my cup of coffee, and one of the delicious gluten free cupcakes which the lovely Ca had made.
We mingled for a while, while trying to keep one over-tired and tearful eight year old who tipped a cup of tea all down herself happy, and trying to keep one over-stimulated and overwhelmed nearly six year old under control, and then we admitted defeat, and Adrian took the kids back to the car to rest while I finished talking to everyone.
So many people came up to me and told me how much they had loved hearing my testimony, and one lady told me that she was really touched by it, and confided about her own faith-related struggles, and how she was aching to feel God in her life the way I did. I wish now, looking back, I'd told her about how I felt a year ago, but then, of course, she heard in my testimony about how far from God I was a relatively short time ago.
I also spoke to my local friends, who were also both touched by my testimony, and felt God calling to them. One friend went home with a copy of the Holy Bible, which the church gladly gave to her, and both friends, along with the woman I mentioned above, have said that they would like to take part in the next Alpha Course! HOW fantastic is that??? I am so very, very happy for them! I will be praying for them, and for their journeys, and it would be great if any readers could pray for them too.
And then it was time to bid the last few people in the hall goodbye, and to make my way out to the car. When we got home, I did the childrens' treatments, and once they were in bed, and Adrian had gone out for a run (he's still working hard at his training for the Fylde Coast Marathon in February 2011), W and I sat down in the relative peace and quiet, to let the events of the evening sink in a little.
I phoned my mother, and spoke to her to let her know all that had happened during the evening, and then I opened the cards and gifts people had given me ...
My cards
And my gifts: 3 Max Lucado books in 1 volume, from W; 'Walking With God In Quiet Places' from my parents; the 'Cross in my Pocket' from my parents on behalf of my grandparents; and from one of my local friends, the book of Joy, and some very pretty cross earrings with rainbows painted on them!
It was such an incredible evening.
Looking back, if I didn't have the photos, I don't know if it would feel real. Even looking at the photos, it seems almost dream-like. I think because it was such an emotional and spiritual experience, rather than a physical experience, seeing the physical evidence of it is rather weird! Because I don't remember a lot physically.
I remember tears streaming down my face as I sang and worshipped. I remember seeing faces in the crowd as I looked around the church as I gave my testimony. I remember staring at the ceiling and praying for strength. I remember the warmth of the baptism pool. I remember the strength of B and D's hands as they placed them on my back, and on my head. I remember feeling W's hug as I left the pool. I remember the roughness of my Wales flag towel around my shoulders.
But mostly I remember feelings. Such strong feelings that I don't have words for them. I don't know words for what most of them were, I just focused on God and experienced the feelings as they came.
But I know I will remember the experience for the rest of my life.
It was the best day of my life, the day Jesus saved me.
Thank you Lord!!!
We kicked off the day with a fantastic morning worship service, preached by one of our church's missionaries from Albania, who spoke to us about seeing the world through God's eyes, seeing the big picture, not just our little slice of the world.
The baptism pool was all set up ready, and so myself and my two friends from the Alpha Course were able to take a good look at the pool and test the temperature, and finalise the arrangements for the evening. We were all feeling a bit nervous about random bits like delivering our testimonies, being up on stage in front of the congregation and guests, and for me, I was terrified of falling down the steps into the pool, because through the water, they looked like awfully narrow steps, and I have big feet! But we were also very, very excited!
When we got home, I finalised my testimony, and got the last things ready for my friend W and her children arriving to stay with us, and then they were here!
We had a lovely afternoon together, with a party tea for the 'birthday people' (Seren on the 11th, W's son B on the 19th, and Adrian on the 20th), and then it was time to get ready for the baptism service!
It was recommended that I wear a swimming costume under my clothes, in case they floated up or anything, and so I did. I was also told not to wear white, because it goes see-through once it's wet, so I wore black trousers and a green top. And because I was going forward to be immersed, I had to tie my hair up, because otherwise I'd come up out of the water looking like Cousin Itt from the Addams Family!
W and I prayed together, once we had got everyone ready, and W also made sure that I had everything I needed, including my notes for my testimony, and then it was time to go!
I was so very excited by the time we got to the church, I just could not wait to be baptised, to be saved by God's Grace, to die to my old life and my old sins, and be reborn and washed clean!
When we first got there, we got settled in, with Adrian and the kids, and W and her children taking up an entire front row on one side, and people came up to give me cards, and I had a chat to the ministers and the two lovely people, C and C, (whose names I don't want to share without permission, but because they have the same initials, we'll call them Cr and Ca) who were being baptised with me.
Seren and Dylan taking a look at the baptism poolAt about 5.45 pm, the ministers took us through to the lounge to pray together with some of the church members, which really calmed us down and focused our minds on the Lord.
While I was away, Adrian continued to snap photos, and he took the rest of the photos during the evening too.
Adrian and Dylan, waiting for the service to beginAnd then, at 6 pm, it was time!!!
The minister welcomed everyone to the service, and then we sang three worship songs together. We all chose a song each, a song which meant a lot to us, and was particularly appropriate for our baptisms, and the first was chosen by me, 'Father God I Wonder' ...
Then 'Lord I Lift Your Name On High', chosen by Cr ...
And 'There Is A Day', chosen by Ca ...
Before the service, Ca and I were saying to each other that we were nervous about trying to get through the worship and testimonies without dissolving into tears, because we both knew it was going to be an incredibly emotional time. And she teased me, saying that because I'd cried so frequently in the Alpha and Discipleship Course meetings, that I'd be first to cry, well, after Cr's wife anyway! And that Ca would cry after me.
As it turned out, she was wrong! We all felt the tears start to flow in 'There Is A Day', just as I thought they would, because that song gets me Every. Single. Time. Every single time. I can't sing it without the tears springing to my eyes, because it's message is just so precious, when it speaks about all hurt and pain ceasing, or about how the dead will be raised, never to perish again, or about how trouble is hard, but is only momentary and is achieving our future glory. It just speaks to me. To my heart. It gives me peace and hope.
I sang the first two songs at the very top of my voice, rejoicing in the packed church, filled with church members, family and friends; and in the reason for us being there; and in God's saving Grace. And when we sang 'There Is A Day', the wave of emotion crashed over us.
I say us, because when I looked across, as the tears were springing to my eyes, Ca was already wiping away tears, and Cr had decidedly red eyes too! So actually, Ca cried before all of us :o)
Not that it mattered. At first, I tried to wipe away my tears, but they just kept flowing, and so I decided to let them flow, to concentrate on singing and worshipping God, and not to hold back anything, or try to contain my feelings. It so wasn't a night for holding back, it was for shouting to the world about our love for Jesus!
I'm so grateful that the sermon came next, because if our testimonies had been straight after the worship songs, I don't think any of us would have been able to speak. The minister, B, found it difficult enough at first, delivering his first few words in a husky voice.
And it was just the perfect sermon. Speaking to us, and to those in the congregation who were lost sheep, just as we had been. Those who had lost their way, and knew something was missing, but didn't know where to turn, or how to find their way back. As I listened to it, I just knew God was working through B, and that his words were touching hearts all around the room. I could just feel the power in his words.
And then it was time. Time for our testimonies ...
We got up from our front row seats, and walked up onto the stage, and took our seats together. We were introduced, and then it was down to us ... It was time for God to work through us.
Cr gave his testimony first, and although I'd heard bits of it before, during the Discipleship Course, it was so much more powerful on the night. He never stumbled, never lost his place, he was calm, and his words were strong. He showed the way in which the Lord has been working slowly in his life, over the past ten years, bringing him this point, where he was ready to declare his love for God. And although he was clearly emotional, he was the only one of us who got through their testimony without any tears.
He sat down to applause, and then it was Ca's turn. Her testimony was amazing; witty and interesting, and heartbreakingly honest. There were points where she was unable to speak, so intense were her emotions, and from my seat behind her, I prayed for strength for her, that she would be able to continue and to give her testimony from the heart. Her children came up onto the stage with her, and comforted her, which was beautiful, and she found the strength and determination to carry on speaking, and her testimony was amazing. God's work in her life was amazing.
She sat back down to thunderous applause, and I realised that it was now my turn. I now had to stand up before the microphone, already tearful from Ca's testimony, and try to give my own, which in my head, now sounded dull and drab and uninspiring.
I'd written notes, firstly as prompts to make sure I didn't miss out any important points from the early part of my journey, and the secondly to make sure I phrased things exactly how I wanted to when I got to the later part of my journey, bringing me up to last night. So as I stood up, I unfolded my notes, said a last quick prayer (the last of many on the subject!) that God would use my testimony to bring others to Christ, and to touch the hearts which needed to be touched, and then, again, it was time!
The first thing I did when I got up there, was to make a joke. It was unintentional, and carried on from the initial joke Ca had made that she hoped everyone could hear her, because she was taller than Cr. My joke was that I was even taller, by far, and so I hoped that everyone could hear me too ...
Giving my testimony, barefootAnd then I looked around at the sea of faces staring at me from the packed pews, and I jumped in, feet first. Not into the baptism pool, of course, although we did joke that if I slipped when I was getting into the pool, I'd end up a) baptising myself, and b) causing a mini tidal wave as I fell; but jumped feet first into my testimony.
I started off by giving my name, and saying that I was originally from South Wales, and that's where I pretty much scrapped my speech. From then on, God took over, and totally re-worded a lot of it. I don't remember 100% of my speech (although I will be able to see it on video soon, and hope to share it on here too), but I remember saying that my life started off pretty well, that I was dedicated into the baptist church, and that I very much loved attending Sunday School and was active in church and proud of it.
Then I moved on to the tough times, talking about moving to Suffolk and getting married, falling pregnant with Seren, and then said about her being diagnosed with cystic fibrosis.
And, although I had expected to become emotional and/or tearful during my testimony, I totally didn't expect it to be then. The very first time I said the words cystic fibrosis. But I did. My throat locked, the tears flooded my eyes, and I couldn't go on. I remember looking up to the ceiling, and praying for strength, for enough peace to carry on, to deliver my testimony.
And I did. With a lot of tears (and unfortunately, a lot of sniffing, which didn't sound too great echoing around the church with surround sound!), a lot of emotion, and a lot of strength from the Lord, I did it.
I spoke about the tough times we've weathered, how Adrian got me through my severe post natal depression, how unbelievably angry I was, how I let that come between me and the Lord, and how, when Seren guided us to our new church, I had to let God break down all those barriers, I had to let God help me smash down that wall of anger. And I spoke about the love I've felt from our church, the welcome they gave me, the welcome God gave me, and the way they have nurtured my newly re-awoken faith so that it didn't just blossom under their care, it absolutely exploded.
And then I totally forgot my script and just let my love for the Lord overflow. I can't remember exactly what I said, but I know it was to do with how thankful I was to be there last night, to be able to show just how much I love my God.
I can't tell you more than that, because as I said, I can't remember all that I said. I have no idea how long my testimony was, or whether I spoke anywhere near eloquently (although it would seem that it was at least intelligible!), and I know that I didn't say all that I planned to say. But what I said was exactly what God wanted me to say. And that's how I wanted it. I didn't want to just read off a piece of paper. I wanted God right in the thick of things, helping me. And He was. It was my testimony, but with a lot of help from the Lord.
Maybe I looked silly, and maybe when I see the video of my testimony I'll cringe or blush. I don't know. All I know is that my testimony was 100% real at the time, 100% heartfelt, and remembering now just how I felt, standing up there and feeling God at work, feeling God's presence so strongly ... IT WAS PERFECT. It was how it was meant to be.
I wish the 'Me of mid 2009' could see the 'Me of mid 2010', that they could meet. How very, very different they would be. Rock bottom to the top of the world in such a short time. And not because life's perfect now, because it's not. But because Jesus is back in my life, and He makes my life worth living, worth being totally alive, worth feeling with all of my heart, worth not holding back in fear of being hurt. Worth trusting, trusting in God.
And then, after I'd sat back down to my own applause, and Ca had lent me her tissue to mop up my many tears, it was time for the most important part. Our baptisms!
Cr went first, followed by Ca, and then me ...
I was helped into the pool by the lady who helps the ladies who are being baptised, and by B, and I didn't fall in, YAY! The steps were actually a lot wider than they looked through the rippling water!The water was beautifully warm, and with every step I took down into the pool, I could feel how incredibly buoyant the water was as it rushed up the legs of my trousers. I had to push hard to get my feet down onto the steps, and when I reached the bottom of the pool and stood between B and D, the ministers, I had to work hard to keep my balance and keep my feet on the bottom of the pool!
First of all, I was given my own personal Bible verse, chosen for me by the church ...
"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption. Whereby we say, "Abba Father"." Romans 8, verse 15.
Isn't it the perfect verse? I was indeed a slave to fear before I opened my heart to the Lord again in December 2009. Fear had completely dominated my life since the moment we found out, at 22 weeks pregnant, that Seren was at risk of having cystic fibrosis. But as my verse says, I'm no longer a slave to fear. And I love that it says that I received the Spirit of adoption, because the very words of the song I chose for the service, 'Father God I Wonder', says 'But now I am your child, I am adopted in your family,'. I'm now officially a member of God's Church in the World!
After receiving my verse, I stood between the ministers and confessed my faith in Jesus ...And then, as they said that on my confession of faith, and with my consent, they baptised me in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, on the word 'Spirit', I went under. I was being baptised going forwards, so I was prepared, with my hands crossed before me, and my right hand holding my nose, and under I went.
The water hit my face and it was beautifully warm, and as I went under, I felt my feet sliding backwards as my body tried to float, and I had to work to keep my feet under me, and after some moments, I then felt B and D grip my arms and pull me back up.
They gave me a moment to right myself and clear the water from my face, and then they held me again, placing their hands on my head and baptising me with the Holy Spirit. I opened my heart to the Holy Spirit, and I felt such incredible peace wash over me.
Receiving the Holy SpiritAnd then I heard B and D blessing me, and B helped me out of the pool, into the waiting arms of my friend W, who was holding my towel for me, and I was just BURSTING with joy!!! I can't describe the joy that absolutely overwhelmed me!
See my Welsh flag towel? I wore it for my parents, because they weren't able to be there, and the lovely W made sure it was the right way up as she gave it to me!Seren and Dylan came up to hug me as well, which was a precious moment, and then B, D, Cr, Ca and myself went out to the changing rooms to get dried and dressed. It was lovely to be able to talk to Ca as we changed in the cubicles, to have someone to re-live the experience with, and Ca told me that my testimony really touched her, especially at the end when I told the church how much I love my God. I told her that that bit was totally unplanned, unscripted, off the cuff and from the heart, and she said that it was the best bit! :o)
We got changed as quickly as we could, and then we all went back into the church together as the congregation finished singing a few more worship songs, and we took our places back on the stage. D then invited members of the congregation up to pray for us, and my two lovely local friends who had come to the service came up onto the stage to pray with us, and we all just prayed together in the Spirit. It was amazing to hear the voices mingling around us as they prayed for us and for our spiritual journeys.
We then returned to our seats in the front rows of the congregation and we sang another song together ...
Shine Jesus Shine, by Graham Kendrick
To be honest, I don't even remember singing this song, I just remember standing there and worshipping God. And I remember sitting down again to listen to the minister speaking, again giving his message of welcome to those who may be lost, and inviting people to join him on the next Alpha Course. At this point, I had Dylan snuggled up to me, and W's youngest son sitting on my lap, snuggled up to me, and life was perfect. We stood up again for the benediction, and then that was it! The service was over!
As soon as the service was finished, I was surrounded by people coming up to me and hugging me and congratulating me and telling me how much they had loved my testimony, and saying how my words had touched them. :o) I have no idea how many pairs of arms hugged me, but it was a lot. My friends, my family, the congregation, the ministers, and the family and friends of my fellow 'new faithfuls'. :o)
We stayed in the church for quite a while, hugging and talking and hearing people's stories of their own baptisms and journeys; and, incredibly excitingly, Ja, one of the people I did the Alpha Course with, came over to me and said that she had felt led to invite me to join her House Group! And of course, I immediately said yes!!!
I know a few people in her House Group already, B, who baptised me, his wife Ji, and Ja, who invited me. I've already been to her house for a barbecue, and I'd heard how fantastic their House Group is, and longed to join it, so to be invited was wonderful!
Then I quickly dashed to grab my wet things so that Adrian could put them in the car, rounded up the incredibly over-excited (and in Dylan's case, over-stimulated and sensory-overloaded) children, and made our way through to the hall for tea and cakes.
And the ladies of the church gave me this beautiful bouquet of flowers ...
The party time in the hall passed in a blur, as I was ever so hot, and ever so thirsty, and I talked to so very many people, and I was trying to juggle my bouquet of flowers, my cup of coffee, and one of the delicious gluten free cupcakes which the lovely Ca had made.
We mingled for a while, while trying to keep one over-tired and tearful eight year old who tipped a cup of tea all down herself happy, and trying to keep one over-stimulated and overwhelmed nearly six year old under control, and then we admitted defeat, and Adrian took the kids back to the car to rest while I finished talking to everyone.
So many people came up to me and told me how much they had loved hearing my testimony, and one lady told me that she was really touched by it, and confided about her own faith-related struggles, and how she was aching to feel God in her life the way I did. I wish now, looking back, I'd told her about how I felt a year ago, but then, of course, she heard in my testimony about how far from God I was a relatively short time ago.
I also spoke to my local friends, who were also both touched by my testimony, and felt God calling to them. One friend went home with a copy of the Holy Bible, which the church gladly gave to her, and both friends, along with the woman I mentioned above, have said that they would like to take part in the next Alpha Course! HOW fantastic is that??? I am so very, very happy for them! I will be praying for them, and for their journeys, and it would be great if any readers could pray for them too.
And then it was time to bid the last few people in the hall goodbye, and to make my way out to the car. When we got home, I did the childrens' treatments, and once they were in bed, and Adrian had gone out for a run (he's still working hard at his training for the Fylde Coast Marathon in February 2011), W and I sat down in the relative peace and quiet, to let the events of the evening sink in a little.
I phoned my mother, and spoke to her to let her know all that had happened during the evening, and then I opened the cards and gifts people had given me ...
My cards
And my gifts: 3 Max Lucado books in 1 volume, from W; 'Walking With God In Quiet Places' from my parents; the 'Cross in my Pocket' from my parents on behalf of my grandparents; and from one of my local friends, the book of Joy, and some very pretty cross earrings with rainbows painted on them!It was such an incredible evening.
Looking back, if I didn't have the photos, I don't know if it would feel real. Even looking at the photos, it seems almost dream-like. I think because it was such an emotional and spiritual experience, rather than a physical experience, seeing the physical evidence of it is rather weird! Because I don't remember a lot physically.
I remember tears streaming down my face as I sang and worshipped. I remember seeing faces in the crowd as I looked around the church as I gave my testimony. I remember staring at the ceiling and praying for strength. I remember the warmth of the baptism pool. I remember the strength of B and D's hands as they placed them on my back, and on my head. I remember feeling W's hug as I left the pool. I remember the roughness of my Wales flag towel around my shoulders.
But mostly I remember feelings. Such strong feelings that I don't have words for them. I don't know words for what most of them were, I just focused on God and experienced the feelings as they came.
But I know I will remember the experience for the rest of my life.
It was the best day of my life, the day Jesus saved me.
Thank you Lord!!!
Monday, July 26, 2010
I Am A New Creation, No More In Condemnation, Here In The Grace of God I Stand
I DID IT!!!
And it was truly the best experience of my entire life.
It was perfect. The only way it could have been more perfect is if my parents could have been there to share in it.
More soon!
God bless!
The title of my blog post comes from the lyrics from the song 'I Am A New Creation' by Dave Bilgrough
And it was truly the best experience of my entire life.
It was perfect. The only way it could have been more perfect is if my parents could have been there to share in it.
More soon!
God bless!
The title of my blog post comes from the lyrics from the song 'I Am A New Creation' by Dave Bilgrough
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Catching Up Before the Big Day
Tomorrow is going to be a REALLY big day. It's the day I get SAVED! :oD Saved by God's Grace!
The past couple of months have been so jam-packed, what with the Eastern Baptist Association's Annual Assembly in Romford, which I attended with my friend, my reading 'Cover to Cover: Reading the Bible in 365 Days', and me completing my Discipleship Course on Thursday! And of course, there have also been lots of happenings in my daily life, with Seren and Adrian's birthday, the kids' Sports Days, completing Seren's DLA re-application, having house guests twice in a month (the second of which arrive tomorrow, and I really should be cleaning now!) and the kids' Annual Reviews at the hospital.
Everything has been happening at once, and although things should calm down by the middle of next week, I wanted to take the time today to catch up before tomorrow's life-changing event.
So ... first is my going to the Eastern Baptist Association's Annual Assembly on 12th June. I travelled down to the Romford area the night before, and stayed with my friend W, and then went with her to her church, Romford Baptist. It was a fantastic day, and I was made to feel very welcome to W and the members of her church.
First of all, we had a time of worship, and then the EBA held their AGM, followed by the first of the two seminars for the day. I'd put myself down for 'Living the Life as a Disciple of Christ', and it was fantastic! It was delivered by Jonathan Edwards, the Secretary General of the Baptist Union of Great Britain, and it was uplifting, inspiring and challenging. It focused on Luke Chapter 9, verses 57 to 62, and he showed us that being a true disciple of Christ involves living the life 24/7, not just on a Sunday morning at church.
He also said that the best ways to become a better disciple, and to encourage others to become better disciples were: 1) Encouraging the core disciplines of prayer, reading the Bible and attending church, in order to strengthen your faith, and that tithing is also a blessing, as it reminds us that everything belongs to the Lord, and everything comes from the Lord.
2) Encouraging church activities, and using the concept of 'This Time Tomorrow', where you ask a church member on a Sunday what they'll be doing this time tomorrow, and you pray together about it, bringing church into daily life. He also said that church shouldn't be in a bubble, that we should worship through the week as well.
3) Encouraging service, by encouraging the youth of the church to attend groups such as Junior Christian Endeavour, and getting young people to take a bigger part in services with responsibilities and trust.
4) By monitoring and mentoring ministers, so that they can constantly strengthen themselves and have someone to talk issues over with.
After the seminar, we had a lunch break, and I had a chance to ask at the book stall about whether they could recommend a book for me to help me when reading the Bible. At this point, I had read the first 5 books of the Bible, and then, as recommended by the Alpha Course leaders, I moved on to the New Testament and read that, but struggled with understanding some parts, particularly the book of Revelation. So I wanted a book which could help me get the right meaning from what I was reading, and apply what I was learning to my own life, and so they recommended this:
So I took their advice and bought it!
After lunch, we had the second of our two seminars, which was 'Living the Life Through Personal Spirituality'. This was delivered by David Adams from Witard Road Baptist Church, and it was another amazing seminar.
David told us that over the years, he has travelled the globe and experienced a vast number of different types of spiritual worship, ranging from Catholic to Charismatic! He spoke about his experiences of many different types of worship, which was fascinating, and he taught that no matter how we choose to worship, as long as we allow God to invade us, and our worship is totally focused on God, they are all equally valid before God. We need to remember that worshipping God isn't meant to be about what we're getting out of it, but about what we're giving to God at the time. That really spoke to me!
He concluded by saying "Worship cannot and must not be confined to any specific liturgy or format and particularly to any past, present, or indeed future musical style. The awareness of God’s presence is determined more by a real honesty in each persons heart that is not specifically focused or bound by what is being said or sung. To focus on the hymn or song is not to fully engage with God and in that sense it fails unless we are lifted above it to connect with God out of the reality of our own expressions of who He is. This is beyond a feeling, mood orientated, over-emotional response to a beautiful song or a stirring hymn which I would suggest can keep us earth bound rather than heaven aware."
And "God made us with individual tastes and set us in communities or cultures with their own characteristics. Reflecting on my experiences I observe that some Christians appeared stuck or bored in a ‘worship rut’. It certainly was the case that for a good number, they were caught in a worship style that did not fit the way God had uniquely made them. None of the styles is better or more acceptable to God. The only condition is the deep sincerity and obedience of the heart."
And "There can be no true experience of worship unless it flows from a lifestyle of worship seen through obedience. The common factor that draws together those experiences where worshippers have been aware of the awesome presence of God, is that for the majority it has been the continuation of a daily lifestyle of surrender and obedience to God. The concept of ‘going to worship’ defined as a place and time, was not the reality. The reality was a daily commitment to walk God’s way which joyfully brought you to opportunities, sometimes with other believers where you could freely express, in a way natural to yourself, the overflow of love, joy, and thankfulness that you felt in your heart. This is ‘worship in the spirit’, when your spirit is responding to God’s Spirit."
He closed the seminar by quoting Matt Redman's classic worship song:
‘Heart of Worship’
I’ll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself is not what You have required.
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You’re looking into my heart.
We then went back into the main church for another fantastic worship session, which rounded the day off beautifully. I went home that day feeling incredibly inspired and uplifted, and eager to learn more about the Lord, and to continue my journey back into His fold!
Shortly after I got back, I started reading my 'Cover to Cover' book, along with the relevant parts of the Bible, and I'm loving it. I'm on Day 39 at the moment, and I just love my Bible Study time each day. The book is brilliant, giving me the verses to read each day, and taking me through the Bible chronologically, and splitting it up into more easily digestable chunks, and, the best bit of all for me, at the end of each day, there is something to think about, a way of making what I've read that day applicable to me, and a Bible verse for contemplation.
I just love that it makes God's Word so very relevant to me and my daily life and my situation, and I am loving reading the Bible in this way. I've found that the little Bible stories I already knew off by heart, like how God made the world, or the story of Joseph, the ones I could tell you without having to read them, they're suddenly fresh and new, and applicable in my life. I think that by learning them as a child, they'd become relevant only to my childhood, but through my 'Cover to Cover' book, I'm seeing how they are just as relevant to me now, as well.
I've also now completed my Discipleship Course. I was so glad that it happened so soon after the Alpha Course, because I so very much missed seeing all the friends I made on the course, and it was so good to be back with them again! I feel so very close to them all, because they know so very much about me, and they have supported me through some tough times and strong emotions lately, and they are just such good, good people.
I am so glad that four of us will be getting Baptised together tomorrow! We've come so far, and certainly I have changed so much, and I am just so unbelievably chuffed to be sharing this incredibly special day with them!
So our Discipleship Course was split into four sections, firstly, Foundation in Faith, in which we learned about what Grace truly means, and about how we are in no way saved by anything we do, and could not possibly be saved by anything we do ourselves, but only by God's Grace, which we receive through Faith in Lord Jesus.
Week Two was a Foundation in Baptism, in which we learned, through Bible texts about the spiritual cleansing of full immersion Baptism; about it being a covenant, the new symbol for Christians (with circumcision being the old covenant in the Old Testament); about it being a conversion, being born again and having a new start in life; about it being a new commitment, committing ourselves to the Lord; and about the commission to be Baptised, for Christ's disciples to go out and baptise people.
Week Three focused on a Foundation in the Church, learning about how when we are baptised, we will instantly become members of the worldwide Church of God, and that we will then be able to apply for membership in our local church. We also learned about the responsibilities of being a member of our local church, which we have to consider before we decide whether to apply for membership. Personally, I can't wait to apply, and to take on those responsibilities and do my bit for the church which has literally saved my life!
And then on Thursday, for Week Four, we focused on the practicalities of Baptism, on the order of service, the worship songs we wanted to sing, the order we get Baptised in, and even things like what we should wear, and what time we should arrive on the day.
And of course, at each meeting, we shared in a wonderful meal, fantastic fellowship, and we would always stand and hold hands to pray and worship together at the end of the evening, which is an incredibly special time. Sometimes we pray one at a time, sometimes we all pray at once, lifting our voices to the Lord together, and sometimes we sing spontaneous verses of worship songs. Officially it's called Praying in the Spirit, and our minister is thinking of having us pray in this way after our baptisms tomorrow night, so that the whole congregation can share in our prayers!
And so, pretty much, in a nutshell, that brings us up to today! I've been busy working on my Testimony, and although it's probably slightly too long at the moment, I've been praying that God will help me when I'm delivering my Testimony tomorrow night, and that I'll only say those bits which will bring the most glory to Him, and that He will use my words to bring more people to Christ.
I've also pretty much decided on what I'm wearing, (most importantly, a swim suit underneath my clothes, as recommended by the lady who helps the ladies with their baptisms!), I've seen the changing rooms we'll use afterwards, the order of service is pretty much set, and I've invited several friends to the service as well, to share in our day.
Sadly, my Dad is still too early in his post-high dose chemo recovery process for my parents to travel to see me get Baptised, and my Uncle and Aunt can't make it either; but Adrian and the children will be there, as will my friend W and her children, two of my lovely local friends, and hopefully, two ladies from my Slimming World class who have become friends over the past three years. I've also invited my mother-in-law, and I hope she will attend.
I've been feeling so nervous about it for a while now, but now, the night before my baptism, I'm just excited!!! I can't wait to worship the Lord in church in the morning, come home and welcome W and her children into our home, and then go back to church in the evening, see my three Alpha friends get baptised, and then get baptised myself! I can't wait!
Oooh, I just thought ...
Once I am SAVED tomorrow night, once I get baptised, I will well and truly be back in Jesus' fold! I may have to re-name this blog! :oD
Love in Christ!
The past couple of months have been so jam-packed, what with the Eastern Baptist Association's Annual Assembly in Romford, which I attended with my friend, my reading 'Cover to Cover: Reading the Bible in 365 Days', and me completing my Discipleship Course on Thursday! And of course, there have also been lots of happenings in my daily life, with Seren and Adrian's birthday, the kids' Sports Days, completing Seren's DLA re-application, having house guests twice in a month (the second of which arrive tomorrow, and I really should be cleaning now!) and the kids' Annual Reviews at the hospital.
Everything has been happening at once, and although things should calm down by the middle of next week, I wanted to take the time today to catch up before tomorrow's life-changing event.
So ... first is my going to the Eastern Baptist Association's Annual Assembly on 12th June. I travelled down to the Romford area the night before, and stayed with my friend W, and then went with her to her church, Romford Baptist. It was a fantastic day, and I was made to feel very welcome to W and the members of her church.
First of all, we had a time of worship, and then the EBA held their AGM, followed by the first of the two seminars for the day. I'd put myself down for 'Living the Life as a Disciple of Christ', and it was fantastic! It was delivered by Jonathan Edwards, the Secretary General of the Baptist Union of Great Britain, and it was uplifting, inspiring and challenging. It focused on Luke Chapter 9, verses 57 to 62, and he showed us that being a true disciple of Christ involves living the life 24/7, not just on a Sunday morning at church.
He also said that the best ways to become a better disciple, and to encourage others to become better disciples were: 1) Encouraging the core disciplines of prayer, reading the Bible and attending church, in order to strengthen your faith, and that tithing is also a blessing, as it reminds us that everything belongs to the Lord, and everything comes from the Lord.
2) Encouraging church activities, and using the concept of 'This Time Tomorrow', where you ask a church member on a Sunday what they'll be doing this time tomorrow, and you pray together about it, bringing church into daily life. He also said that church shouldn't be in a bubble, that we should worship through the week as well.
3) Encouraging service, by encouraging the youth of the church to attend groups such as Junior Christian Endeavour, and getting young people to take a bigger part in services with responsibilities and trust.
4) By monitoring and mentoring ministers, so that they can constantly strengthen themselves and have someone to talk issues over with.
After the seminar, we had a lunch break, and I had a chance to ask at the book stall about whether they could recommend a book for me to help me when reading the Bible. At this point, I had read the first 5 books of the Bible, and then, as recommended by the Alpha Course leaders, I moved on to the New Testament and read that, but struggled with understanding some parts, particularly the book of Revelation. So I wanted a book which could help me get the right meaning from what I was reading, and apply what I was learning to my own life, and so they recommended this:
So I took their advice and bought it!
After lunch, we had the second of our two seminars, which was 'Living the Life Through Personal Spirituality'. This was delivered by David Adams from Witard Road Baptist Church, and it was another amazing seminar.
David told us that over the years, he has travelled the globe and experienced a vast number of different types of spiritual worship, ranging from Catholic to Charismatic! He spoke about his experiences of many different types of worship, which was fascinating, and he taught that no matter how we choose to worship, as long as we allow God to invade us, and our worship is totally focused on God, they are all equally valid before God. We need to remember that worshipping God isn't meant to be about what we're getting out of it, but about what we're giving to God at the time. That really spoke to me!
He concluded by saying "Worship cannot and must not be confined to any specific liturgy or format and particularly to any past, present, or indeed future musical style. The awareness of God’s presence is determined more by a real honesty in each persons heart that is not specifically focused or bound by what is being said or sung. To focus on the hymn or song is not to fully engage with God and in that sense it fails unless we are lifted above it to connect with God out of the reality of our own expressions of who He is. This is beyond a feeling, mood orientated, over-emotional response to a beautiful song or a stirring hymn which I would suggest can keep us earth bound rather than heaven aware."
And "God made us with individual tastes and set us in communities or cultures with their own characteristics. Reflecting on my experiences I observe that some Christians appeared stuck or bored in a ‘worship rut’. It certainly was the case that for a good number, they were caught in a worship style that did not fit the way God had uniquely made them. None of the styles is better or more acceptable to God. The only condition is the deep sincerity and obedience of the heart."
And "There can be no true experience of worship unless it flows from a lifestyle of worship seen through obedience. The common factor that draws together those experiences where worshippers have been aware of the awesome presence of God, is that for the majority it has been the continuation of a daily lifestyle of surrender and obedience to God. The concept of ‘going to worship’ defined as a place and time, was not the reality. The reality was a daily commitment to walk God’s way which joyfully brought you to opportunities, sometimes with other believers where you could freely express, in a way natural to yourself, the overflow of love, joy, and thankfulness that you felt in your heart. This is ‘worship in the spirit’, when your spirit is responding to God’s Spirit."
He closed the seminar by quoting Matt Redman's classic worship song:
‘Heart of Worship’
I’ll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself is not what You have required.
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You’re looking into my heart.
We then went back into the main church for another fantastic worship session, which rounded the day off beautifully. I went home that day feeling incredibly inspired and uplifted, and eager to learn more about the Lord, and to continue my journey back into His fold!
Shortly after I got back, I started reading my 'Cover to Cover' book, along with the relevant parts of the Bible, and I'm loving it. I'm on Day 39 at the moment, and I just love my Bible Study time each day. The book is brilliant, giving me the verses to read each day, and taking me through the Bible chronologically, and splitting it up into more easily digestable chunks, and, the best bit of all for me, at the end of each day, there is something to think about, a way of making what I've read that day applicable to me, and a Bible verse for contemplation.
I just love that it makes God's Word so very relevant to me and my daily life and my situation, and I am loving reading the Bible in this way. I've found that the little Bible stories I already knew off by heart, like how God made the world, or the story of Joseph, the ones I could tell you without having to read them, they're suddenly fresh and new, and applicable in my life. I think that by learning them as a child, they'd become relevant only to my childhood, but through my 'Cover to Cover' book, I'm seeing how they are just as relevant to me now, as well.
I've also now completed my Discipleship Course. I was so glad that it happened so soon after the Alpha Course, because I so very much missed seeing all the friends I made on the course, and it was so good to be back with them again! I feel so very close to them all, because they know so very much about me, and they have supported me through some tough times and strong emotions lately, and they are just such good, good people.
I am so glad that four of us will be getting Baptised together tomorrow! We've come so far, and certainly I have changed so much, and I am just so unbelievably chuffed to be sharing this incredibly special day with them!
So our Discipleship Course was split into four sections, firstly, Foundation in Faith, in which we learned about what Grace truly means, and about how we are in no way saved by anything we do, and could not possibly be saved by anything we do ourselves, but only by God's Grace, which we receive through Faith in Lord Jesus.
Week Two was a Foundation in Baptism, in which we learned, through Bible texts about the spiritual cleansing of full immersion Baptism; about it being a covenant, the new symbol for Christians (with circumcision being the old covenant in the Old Testament); about it being a conversion, being born again and having a new start in life; about it being a new commitment, committing ourselves to the Lord; and about the commission to be Baptised, for Christ's disciples to go out and baptise people.
Week Three focused on a Foundation in the Church, learning about how when we are baptised, we will instantly become members of the worldwide Church of God, and that we will then be able to apply for membership in our local church. We also learned about the responsibilities of being a member of our local church, which we have to consider before we decide whether to apply for membership. Personally, I can't wait to apply, and to take on those responsibilities and do my bit for the church which has literally saved my life!
And then on Thursday, for Week Four, we focused on the practicalities of Baptism, on the order of service, the worship songs we wanted to sing, the order we get Baptised in, and even things like what we should wear, and what time we should arrive on the day.
And of course, at each meeting, we shared in a wonderful meal, fantastic fellowship, and we would always stand and hold hands to pray and worship together at the end of the evening, which is an incredibly special time. Sometimes we pray one at a time, sometimes we all pray at once, lifting our voices to the Lord together, and sometimes we sing spontaneous verses of worship songs. Officially it's called Praying in the Spirit, and our minister is thinking of having us pray in this way after our baptisms tomorrow night, so that the whole congregation can share in our prayers!
And so, pretty much, in a nutshell, that brings us up to today! I've been busy working on my Testimony, and although it's probably slightly too long at the moment, I've been praying that God will help me when I'm delivering my Testimony tomorrow night, and that I'll only say those bits which will bring the most glory to Him, and that He will use my words to bring more people to Christ.
I've also pretty much decided on what I'm wearing, (most importantly, a swim suit underneath my clothes, as recommended by the lady who helps the ladies with their baptisms!), I've seen the changing rooms we'll use afterwards, the order of service is pretty much set, and I've invited several friends to the service as well, to share in our day.
Sadly, my Dad is still too early in his post-high dose chemo recovery process for my parents to travel to see me get Baptised, and my Uncle and Aunt can't make it either; but Adrian and the children will be there, as will my friend W and her children, two of my lovely local friends, and hopefully, two ladies from my Slimming World class who have become friends over the past three years. I've also invited my mother-in-law, and I hope she will attend.
I've been feeling so nervous about it for a while now, but now, the night before my baptism, I'm just excited!!! I can't wait to worship the Lord in church in the morning, come home and welcome W and her children into our home, and then go back to church in the evening, see my three Alpha friends get baptised, and then get baptised myself! I can't wait!
Oooh, I just thought ...
Once I am SAVED tomorrow night, once I get baptised, I will well and truly be back in Jesus' fold! I may have to re-name this blog! :oD
Love in Christ!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Ending and Beginning
Alpha Course has now finished. We had the last session on 27th May, but it wasn't a sad experience. We had an absolutely fantastic meal, and we laughed so, so much, especially when I asked if we could take a group photo, which involved lots of huddling together and diving about to beat the timer on my camera.
We also focused on what happens next, and watched the DVD of Nicky Gumbel talking about how to carry on our lives as Christians.
Three of our group (including myself) are very interested in being baptised, and so for us, the next thing will be a Discipleship Course which will end with the three of us being baptised. The Reverend is hoping that we might be able to be baptised together on the day of the Church anniversary, 11th July.
I am very much looking forward to the course and to being baptised at last, and becoming an official member of the Church I love, but I'm not sure how I feel about it being on 11th July. I know it's a fantastic day to be baptised on, the Church anniversary, but ... it's also my daughter's 8th birthday the same day.
So for this reason, there are a few reasons why I'm thinking I might rather be baptised another day ...
Firstly, I don't want to take the focus away from my daughter on her big day. She only gets one birthday a year, and this past year has had plenty of rough moments for her, so it's even more important to make her special day all about her.
Secondly, I want to be able to focus solely on my baptism on the day I get baptised. I don't want to be rushing about wrapping presents, taking photos, stressing about birthday party plans, and devoting my day to making Seren's day special. Don't get me wrong, I want to do all those things on Seren's birthday, for sure, because I LOVE celebrating the kids' birthdays and making them as special as I possibly can ... but not on the day I get baptised.
I want to be able to focus on my relationship with Jesus on that day, and I just don't think I'll be able to do that properly on Seren's birthday. I want my baptism to be the most important part of that day, because being baptised, being washed clean of my sins, and being baptised in water and in the Holy Spirit is life-changing. I don't want it to be squeezed into a day that's already madly busy, when I wouldn't be able to focus on Jesus properly.
And thirdly, the couple who host the Alpha Course want to throw the three of us a baptism barbecue/party at their house, which I presume would take place on the day we get baptised. If I get baptised on Seren's birthday, then I very much doubt we'd be able to attend, as the day is going to be pretty full already, and I don't want to miss that chance to share that time with my Christian friends.
We are having an Alpha Course reunion at a couple of the course members' house on Thursday, when we will finish talking about what will happen next, the next steps on our Christian journeys, and so we can talk more about it then.
And this is shaping up to be a very Jesus-focused weekend! I have the Alpha Course reunion on Thursday, and then, I just found out last night that I can attend a Christian event in Essex on Saturday! And then of course, I have Church on Sunday morning!
And, in keeping with the title of this post, something else in my life has ended recently too. The folk band I was singing and playing with. I won't go into details, but although it's sad that it's ended, and there are a lot of emotions to work through, it's turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because it's something that hadn't felt right for a while, and it had been weighing heavy on my mind.
And now it's done, I can focus on what's important. My journey with God, my precious family, fundraising and awareness-raising for the Cystic Fibrosis Trust, and helping out with the local branch of the National Autistic Society.
I wanted to close this with a couple of bible verses which have really helped me lately. They have given me encouragement when I've been feeling low, and courage when I felt I had none.
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but be an example for the believers in your speech, your conduct, your love, faith and purity." 1 Timothy 4 v 12.
"Don't be afraid or discouraged, for I, the Lord your God, am with you wherever you go." Joshua 1 v 9.
We also focused on what happens next, and watched the DVD of Nicky Gumbel talking about how to carry on our lives as Christians.
Three of our group (including myself) are very interested in being baptised, and so for us, the next thing will be a Discipleship Course which will end with the three of us being baptised. The Reverend is hoping that we might be able to be baptised together on the day of the Church anniversary, 11th July.
I am very much looking forward to the course and to being baptised at last, and becoming an official member of the Church I love, but I'm not sure how I feel about it being on 11th July. I know it's a fantastic day to be baptised on, the Church anniversary, but ... it's also my daughter's 8th birthday the same day.
So for this reason, there are a few reasons why I'm thinking I might rather be baptised another day ...
Firstly, I don't want to take the focus away from my daughter on her big day. She only gets one birthday a year, and this past year has had plenty of rough moments for her, so it's even more important to make her special day all about her.
Secondly, I want to be able to focus solely on my baptism on the day I get baptised. I don't want to be rushing about wrapping presents, taking photos, stressing about birthday party plans, and devoting my day to making Seren's day special. Don't get me wrong, I want to do all those things on Seren's birthday, for sure, because I LOVE celebrating the kids' birthdays and making them as special as I possibly can ... but not on the day I get baptised.
I want to be able to focus on my relationship with Jesus on that day, and I just don't think I'll be able to do that properly on Seren's birthday. I want my baptism to be the most important part of that day, because being baptised, being washed clean of my sins, and being baptised in water and in the Holy Spirit is life-changing. I don't want it to be squeezed into a day that's already madly busy, when I wouldn't be able to focus on Jesus properly.
And thirdly, the couple who host the Alpha Course want to throw the three of us a baptism barbecue/party at their house, which I presume would take place on the day we get baptised. If I get baptised on Seren's birthday, then I very much doubt we'd be able to attend, as the day is going to be pretty full already, and I don't want to miss that chance to share that time with my Christian friends.
We are having an Alpha Course reunion at a couple of the course members' house on Thursday, when we will finish talking about what will happen next, the next steps on our Christian journeys, and so we can talk more about it then.
And this is shaping up to be a very Jesus-focused weekend! I have the Alpha Course reunion on Thursday, and then, I just found out last night that I can attend a Christian event in Essex on Saturday! And then of course, I have Church on Sunday morning!
And, in keeping with the title of this post, something else in my life has ended recently too. The folk band I was singing and playing with. I won't go into details, but although it's sad that it's ended, and there are a lot of emotions to work through, it's turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because it's something that hadn't felt right for a while, and it had been weighing heavy on my mind.
And now it's done, I can focus on what's important. My journey with God, my precious family, fundraising and awareness-raising for the Cystic Fibrosis Trust, and helping out with the local branch of the National Autistic Society.
I wanted to close this with a couple of bible verses which have really helped me lately. They have given me encouragement when I've been feeling low, and courage when I felt I had none.
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but be an example for the believers in your speech, your conduct, your love, faith and purity." 1 Timothy 4 v 12.
"Don't be afraid or discouraged, for I, the Lord your God, am with you wherever you go." Joshua 1 v 9.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
There Is A Day ...
I sang this TOTALLY UPLIFTING song at Church today ...
There Is A Day, by Phatfish
Here are the lyrics:
There is a day
That all creation's waiting for,
A day of freedom and liberation for the earth.
And on that day
The Lord will come to meet His bride,
And when we see Him
In an instant we'll be changed
The trumpet sounds
And the dead will then be raised
By His power,
Never to perish again.
Once only flesh,
Now clothed with immortality,
Death has now been
Swallowed up in victory
We will meet Him in the air
And then we will be like Him
For we will see Him, as He is
Oh yeah!
Then all hurt and pain will cease
And we'lll be with Him forever
And in His glory we will live
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
So lift your eyes
To the things as yet unseen,
That will remain now
For all eternity.
Though trouble's hard,
It's only momentary
And it's acheiving
Our future glory.
There were certain parts of that absolutely beautiful song which really spoke to me this week, namely:
Then all hurt and pain will cease
And we'lll be with Him forever
And in His glory we will live
and
Though trouble's hard,
It's only momentary
And it's acheiving
Our future glory.
What a fantastic message.
I can't wait for the day when all the people in the world who are hurting or suffering, their pain will cease, and we will all go to live with Him. How perfect that will be! And what a hope to get us through our dark days!
And in the vastness of eternity, our entire lives on earth are only momentary, so when you look at it like that, our troubles may be hard, but yes, they are momentary compared to Heaven's glory.
I hope you are having a blessed Sunday.
God bless. xx
There Is A Day, by Phatfish
Here are the lyrics:
There is a day
That all creation's waiting for,
A day of freedom and liberation for the earth.
And on that day
The Lord will come to meet His bride,
And when we see Him
In an instant we'll be changed
The trumpet sounds
And the dead will then be raised
By His power,
Never to perish again.
Once only flesh,
Now clothed with immortality,
Death has now been
Swallowed up in victory
We will meet Him in the air
And then we will be like Him
For we will see Him, as He is
Oh yeah!
Then all hurt and pain will cease
And we'lll be with Him forever
And in His glory we will live
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
So lift your eyes
To the things as yet unseen,
That will remain now
For all eternity.
Though trouble's hard,
It's only momentary
And it's acheiving
Our future glory.
There were certain parts of that absolutely beautiful song which really spoke to me this week, namely:
Then all hurt and pain will cease
And we'lll be with Him forever
And in His glory we will live
and
Though trouble's hard,
It's only momentary
And it's acheiving
Our future glory.
What a fantastic message.
I can't wait for the day when all the people in the world who are hurting or suffering, their pain will cease, and we will all go to live with Him. How perfect that will be! And what a hope to get us through our dark days!
And in the vastness of eternity, our entire lives on earth are only momentary, so when you look at it like that, our troubles may be hard, but yes, they are momentary compared to Heaven's glory.
I hope you are having a blessed Sunday.
God bless. xx
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